Fly Me Friendly

A number of my t-shirts have flying related themes. Funny that.

This one is my favourite and was a gift from Kitt that she picked up from the Chicken Wings collection. If you’re into flying and you’re not following this comic, you should be, it’s hilarious! :)

A Japanese friend has confirmed the translation says “We Love Chicken Wings” – nice touch :)

I’ll post more photos of my other flying shirts over the course of time. Watch this space :)

I’m over here at Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the EAA Airventure 2011 event (aka Oshkosh aka “Aviation Mecca” :) and am trying to soak it all in, which I acknowledge is an impossible thing. Given the amount of experiences I’d already had within less than 24 hours of arriving, I figured I’d start this list to cover what I want to experience & what I already have experienced. This is just a fast core-dump in the morning and certainly doesn’t represent all I want to do yet so feel free to add comments with recommendations of items you think should be on the list :)

Experience Oshkosh Checklist:

• ✔ Trying to arrange your schedule (before I arrived :))
• ✔ Meeting amazing new people with a common love of flying (At Rockford before I arrived :))
• ✔ Flying into Oshkosh (0 hours)
• ✔ Mass arrival to Oshkosh (0 hours)
• ✔ Heat beyond belief (<4 hours)
• ✔ Life sucking humidity (<4 hours)
• ✔ Salivating over an aircraft (<4 hours)
• ✔ Seeing an aircraft you’d dreamed of seeing (<4 hours)
• ✔ Doing a shopping run to Target ‘cos you forgot yet another thing (6 hours)
• ✔ Eaten alive by insects despite insect repellent (8 hours)
• ✔ Camping on the North 40 (8 hours)
• ✔ Late night thunderstorm with heavy rain & lashing winds (14 hours)
• ✔ Early morning warbird wake up call (18 hours)
• ✔ The hunt for good wifi (19 hours)
• ✔ Angsting over two important events that happen at the same time (21 hours)
• ✔ Chatting with complete strangers yet having a blast & feeling connected (22 hours)
• Wishing you had a TARDIS (or a cloning machine)
• Meeting in person all your online podcasting & social media friends (thanks to Rob Cigliano :)
• Camping in Camp Scholler
• 3G coverage dropouts
• Realising you just can’t do it all! :(
• Making new firm friends from people you never knew existed before Oshkosh
• Seeing more aircraft than you knew existed
• Touching an aircraft you’d only dreamed of seeing
• Seeing an aircraft you’d never known existed
• Overloading on aircraft such that you only react to really unique ones
• Flying out of Oshkosh
• Flying the FISK arrival

Those of you who know me in the real, meat-space world (as opposed to just online) will be aware of the funky t-shirts I like to collect. You may have seen me wearing a number of aviation related ones, the best of which usually have something to do with chickens????

These shirts, a number of books and a lot of my laughs all come from Michael & Stefan Strasser who produce the Chicken Wings comic online. In addition to producing some amazing content, they’ve also come up with a great way to help boost their ratings in the search engines by getting lots of people to link back to them in a cool & non-spam-scam kind of way. Everyone who links back to them goes in the draw for some cool merch or a nifty collectable silver coin thanks to their Link Contest.

Honestly, I’ve been meaning to write a post about these guys for ages but now seems like a pretty good time to do it, no? :)

Definitely worth reading, especially if you’re into aviation.

As I mentioned in the previous Fear of Flying story, the folks at Flight Experience Melbourne are running a competition for their 737 flight simulator. Write up your scary flying story and you could win a free session in the sim. Woo hoo.

Here’s the second of my scary stories and it relates to heavy aircraft taking off short runways – always a “fun” time :)

My other “scary flight moment” was when flying from Buenos Aires to Australia back in the late 90’s. At that time Aerolineas Argentinas had exclusive rights to the trans-polar route between Auckland & Buenos Aires and were using their 747-200 aircraft.

With the prevailing winds behind them, they were able to go from Auckland to Buenos Aires non-stop but couldn’t make it in the other direction with those same winds slowing them down. To make the flight to Auckland, the aircraft would fly south from Buenos Aires to Rio Gallegos way down at the bottom of Argentina. From here they would load up with fuel and continue their journey to Auckland. Due to being full of fuel, they couldn’t take on a full passenger load so you sometimes got some extra space. That was about the only benefit to the flight.

The first time I ever flew back to Australia from Argentina, I had a window seat and was watching the stark, rugged approach as we neared the airport. The screen on the wall was showing our progress and as I looked out the window, I saw a runway that looked a bit short for a 747. Sure enough, we turned final and landed on it. Oh great.

After an hour or two hanging out in the terminal waiting for fueling to be completed, we trooped back aboard and the real fun began. I couldn’t get the image of the runway out of my mind. It really did appear rather short.

Being too big & heavy to use the taxiway, we went onto the runway, turned right and headed to the end where we did a 180 and lined up to take off. The pilots stood on the brakes and ran up the engines, first to check they were running OK then beyond to much higher thrust levels. The aircraft was straining against the brakes with the engines howling when, finally, the pilots released and applied full power.

Rumbling down the runway, I split my attention between the view outside and the screen on the wall at the front of the cabin that was showing speed, altitude, temperature, etc. With the aircraft shaking along the runway, we’d gone past the mid-point where the terminal was and still weren’t near what I figured was VR.

Oh crap :(

Subconsciously my hands went to the arm rests of my seat and began pulling up on them as I thought “Come on you fat pig, lift! Fly!”

I was really starting to get concerned when I felt the nose lift and then the rumbling ceased as the mains left the ground. WHEW!

When you take off from a major runway in most large airports, the gear is probably already retracted before you’ve passed the end of the runway. Not this time. I’d only had a second to start relaxing when the end of the runway flashed by and the gear started to retract. Wow!

Once we were in the air and on our way I started breathing again and realised I was still holding the arm rests. Letting go I looked out the window, wondering how they ever got approval to operate fully loaded 747’s from Rio Gallegos. I wished I could have experienced it from the cockpit – the view would have been incredible.

I only did the Buenos Aires -> Rio Gallegos -> Auckland trip twice and both times I was stressing about getting off the ground before the runway ran out. Eventually QANTAS started flying the route and their 747-400’s could go non-stop between Buenos Aires & Auckland. Aerolineas Argentinas soon upgraded to A340s and Rio Gallegos was no longer required on the trans-polar route. These days QANTAS are using their 747-400ERs which can make it non-stop from Buenos Aires to Sydney so you don’t even have to stop in Auckland if you don’t want to.

I’ve got to say, there are some things from the “good old days” of flying that I really just don’t miss :)

It’s interesting that QANTAS are using their 747-400ERs on the Buenos Aires route. I guess with the A380 on the SYD <-> LAX and MLB <-> LAX routes the -400ER’s were available to fly additional routes. It certainly makes getting to Buenos Aires a lot more comfortable :)

The folks at Flight Experience Melbourne are running a competition for their 737 flight simulator. Write up your scary flying story and you could win a free session in the sim. Woo hoo.

I’ve had two very scary flights in my life and I’m adding them to the collection even thought I can’t win ‘cos I’m staff (I run the blog :) So, here’s the first of my two stories.

We were returning to Boston on United Airlines (from memory a 757) in the mid-90’s. It was coming up on winter and the weather was grey, windy and lots of rain. The pilot came on the PA to advise that due to weather, Boston Logan airport (our destination) was going to be closing. We were to be the last aircraft that would be allowed to attempt a landing and that the crew would give it their best shot to try and get everyone where they were going on this dark & stormy evening.

He also told us all to ensure we buckled up tight and stowed all loose gear because it was probably going to be a bit of a ride. Oh joy.

All cabin crew were strapped in, lights were off and window shades were open as we descended further into the soupy clouds. I had a window seat behind the wing on the right hand side and was watching the outside world as we descended.

The turbulence started to kick in as we got lower and then we broke through the overcast, coming in over the grey, seething waters of Massachusetts Bay. Now the thumps and rattles which had us all shaking about in our seats were “enhanced” by rocking & rolling as we got closer to the surface.

Looking out the window, I was seeing alternate dark grey sky and then very dark grey sea. The aircraft was rolling with the engines surging while the ailerons & spoilers were deflecting madly as the crew fought the variable & gusty winds down the approach path.

Soon we were over the inner harbour and I was starting to see some of the navigation equipment that’s anchored in the water. We were still having quite the roller coaster ride but it eased off as we got over the tarmac, although the crew were still working hard to keep us aligned.

Finally we thumped it onto the deck, the spoilers deployed and almost immediately the thrust reversers were applied. Through the rain on the window you could see the airport buildings and aircraft looking very windswept and miserable.

As we taxied off the runway, the lead flight attendant came on and in a slightly shaky voice said “Welcome to Boston, folks.” There was some laughter but it was mostly a quiet cabin as we all breathed a huge sigh of relief.

On the way off the plane I stopped to chat with the captain as he stood at the cockpit door (remember when they used to do that?). I congratulated him on the landing and said it was the hairiest ride I’d ever had. He agreed it was a pretty good one but noted that he was ex-US Navy, at which point we both agreed that night landings on a carrier are the most intense experience of all (I think there’s a joke about that, right? :)

Given this is my personal blog, I can share the joke with you:

The best things in a pilot’s life are a good landing, a good orgasm & a good shit. Night carrier landings are the only way you can experience all three at the same time :) :)

It has been a very long time since I last saw this set of “Views of the Captain” images. My thanks to Bryan over at Passion Aviator for pointing me at it again.

So funny :)

It would seem that my blog is getting noticed out there as according to Google Analytics, my traffic is up (yay). Even if I never went to check out the analytics information though, I’d still know that awareness was building, just by the volume of spam being automatically captured by the Akismet plug-in on the blog. There’s also the GMail spam filters on my email address – they’ve been trapping lots more too.

My thanks to those other blogs out there who have cross linked to me – that’s very much appreciated and I’m in the process of updating my Blogroll down the side of the page.

Meanwhile, at least I know that the spammers have noticed me :)

Stephen Force over at the Airspeed Blog asked a bunch of us on Twitter for signs that might indicate you’re a pilot. Between our responses and the comments, it’s a pretty comprehensive list and well worth checking out for a bit of fun.

My comment about having a personalised license plate on your car that only another pilot would recognise was included (yay!). I wanted to get CAVOK but someone based at Moorabbin (YMMB) has that one. Next choice was LAHSO or SIMOPS but Kitt & Nykolai said it was too pilot geeky for the RX-7. Oh well – maybe I can get that on the next car…